Wednesday, November 26, 2008
we're done with 1/8 of our race in university
....tts scarily fast aint it ?
nevertheless im still thankful to be able to study
on home ground where my family is.
theres a list of things that im thankful for
-grandparents who love my bro and i dearly
-parents who are responsible and loving
-cell girls who are growing up well and inspirational,
cant ask for better.
-lovely hall mates
-nice sheltered walk below the canopy to and frm hall
-wonderful memories that lights up my fuzzy
heart when im bored.
-peace in s'pore
-hz as sch mate
-the holy sprit prompting within me to lead and guide me
when im being too domineering , or just being plain ugly
on the inside.
just wanna thk god for his provision.as a christian
there are many things that we cant do .
but i wont state them here
im struggling with one .
as i was reading thru the bk of daniel
i realised that althou i was thankful for his provision
i need to let go and place my trust in him
just like daniel when he refused food that that has
been presented before the gods of the king .
yet god made him strong and healthy
(for the complete and concise version, read the bible)
trusting
rainbow;
8:08 PM
Monday, September 22, 2008
ahhhh =) its recess !
finally , after 6 weeks of toilling and mugging and running abt hall
6 weeks of hall
its bz ,but i get to meet many amazing ppl
people who dont look like the kind of people
who do the things that they actually do.
in hall, we sing, dance, supper , try to study , do loads of saikang
sometimes in the midst of all theese i ask myself
after doing so much ...does it matter ???
so what if i can sing???
so what if i can dance??
or run???
why am i in hall?
its hard being in a non-christian environment after a while
suddenly all that i do is meaningless to myself
how do i please god in my activities ?
am i being a blessing=))).... i want to
i dun wanna live this yr in hall in vain
i wanna shine for his glory
i wanna be used by him
i wanna find the purpose that god has for me to fufil in hall
i wanna find the meaning of my life
anywaes i managed to find a cell grp in hall!
abt 6 of us =)))
it keeps me sane in a crazy world !
AHMEN
rainbow;
4:49 AM
Sunday, September 07, 2008
i need to grow up the way god wants me to
i still feel like a child stuck in an ageing body
my mentality is sometimes quite bimbotic and haphazard
it is especially so when im tired and when my brain shuts down
common mings ur brains were made for a greater use =)
man im glad that i actually know what to work on now
just a few days ago i thought i was invinsible,
armed with gods grace
and nothing could fail
but heyys thru placing me in diff situation and
places ive never realli explored for a long time
ive found my weaknesses and im going to change
the strength does not come frm within me
but onli god can come and change the ugly-ness inside
i hope to become a better person with myself and the world
watch me grow =)
and help me grow
rainbow;
9:57 AM
Thursday, August 21, 2008
hee i shall sneak in a post before i get back to civilisation(home)
away from the babaric studying here at ntu .
hee yes uni is siong , even more siong than in jc
right now i dun even have time for cca !
oh great , i hope i wont get kicked out of hall
thou
haha oh wells the opportunity cost for taking up engine
and being a learned citizen =)
how are u ?
i hope life has been good for u reader of thy blog =))
anywaes just to update u on my computing prof
heee i changed my class ! and am absolutely pleased with him
no more angst frm mings in the next few weeks
btw hall life has been great ! exept that boon lay
and jurong always has this
certain smell that lingers in the air .
also, because its a forested area
u'll see many red ants with blackbutts crawling all
over ur table even if there aint any sweet stuff arnd
heh thus many of our tables are graveyards for ants
and now i feel guilty for scolding cui in the past
for correction tapping the ants arnd her
cause im realli just as bad
i sqush them with my fingers *eeks * yeah when they attack me
aniwaes ive been feeling v.blessed admidst the things that surrounds me
=)))) peace that transends all understanding...heh i think i understand tt now =)
rainbow;
11:39 AM
Friday, August 15, 2008
its just week 2 of uni and im under tremendous stress
out of 25 students in my tut class
onli 2 of us are frm s'pore
thus making us the minority race in our own country
how queer
btw the foreigners are all on scholarship
and they call our maths "Zero level math"
when we think its realli quite difficult
they are so good to the point
that they come out with extended qns on their own and solve them
in other words they come out with a new formula and stuff
within SECONDS
even better than rjc students
sooooo stressed !
we also have to deal with lecturers speaking in heavily accented
ching-lish or hindi-glish
neither here nor there
oh btw the china and indian students feel comfy
with theese lecturers
because of the slang
sometimes its just fustrating
btw i freaking need to rant
some tutors take the joy out of learning esp prof song qing !
he doesnt teach
he freakin leaves u to die on ur own
hes the computing teacher
the first tutorial for computing in our life
and we are freaakin fustrated and irritated
at his foul attitude
we did our programming for the first time
and we had some errors
so we asked him for help
he freakin ignored us
time and again
without helping us point out the error
he just said "read the book"
2 hrs of no help with no idea what to do
i mean... cant he be more useful abit
so we were left stranded !
irritating PIG AHHHHH
we have a graded assignment in wk 5 its like week 2 alr !
i mean the heart is willing to learn but the stupid tut
teacher (shldnt even be a teacher )
just enjoy being a free loader sucking tax payers money
to hang arnd in the lab and laugh
at his silly own jokes
its again fustrating to see the foreign students
programming away like its so ez
(they learnt programming in their
countries for many yrs before comming over)
did i tell u,
we get kicked out of sch if we dun perform
and its bell-shaped !
so stressed, fustrated and helpless
we def didnt start at the same level as the foreign students
in a sense its not fair but the world has nv been fair
their jc life was prolly 5 times more hectic
to know so much i guess.
sighhhhhs ! i need more s'porean classmates !
at least the classrom will be condusive for asking qns
as the ppl genuinely dun know
because they dun have prior knowledge and the tut teacher
will be willing to teach seeing that a few ppl dun know.
i cant believe the foreign students laugh at others
just because they think its ez
get a life !
at least show some humanism
rainbow;
9:18 AM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
mings shall be away for a week
says camp insinyur (engine camp for ntu)
i just hope its a proper camp
and that they dun make us do weird stuff
cui says"aiyah just go there to see how despo some ppl can get"
haha ! i love cui she always has a solution for any worries
btw im so happy
cause im lookin forward to night cycling !
something out of reach
for a sheltered kid like me
the only exciting thing ive ever done
is to explore the drains or climb the mango tree
when i was young
outside my childhood friend's house
my childhood friend is trxia by the way=)
my grp has equal no.of guys and girls
heheh sch life is looking bright
im actually having female sch mates =)))
haha
and the guys in engine must be quite glad
no extended NS where u only see rough faces/voice and
chiselled body for 6 yrs instead of the usual 2
btw i finally see some hope in bgr =)
even angel has stopped being anti-boys
thus i shall learn to accept that bgr
need not be a bad thing
more of my friends are staying tgh
im begining to see that it is possible for ppl to get tgh
and stay tgh .
like for eg.ruth and charlton
tiff and bryan
heh actually theese ppl mentioned dun read my blog
but i just want to show u that theese ppl do exist
yay im so happy for them
and i hope they continue to be an example to
us ppl who are cynical abt such an existance
btw ive made comparisons btw the r'ships that work
and those that dun
those that work have the characteristics as shown
(this is purely my view, frm a person who as nv loved another
frm the opposite sex, so pls take it with a pinch of salt)
1)two whole independent beings with their own
strengths and weakness complementing each other
(v.diff frm the notion of u complete me kinda thing=)))
yay so happy , goes to show that god made us whole in him
im wonderfully made and he has made me whole , a mate wld be
an extra gift =).thus we wouldnt have to be emotionally dependent
on our mates and be trapped in a mangled mess
because our ultimate source of stregth is god
2)......haha ok i dun know alr , need to do
more observations and research =)
lols all the best to them. i like what i see=)))))
rainbow;
12:22 AM
Saturday, June 28, 2008
mings was walking down town with her
rather old sch mate (2yrs and counting)
nu qiang ren(muscle women in chi) singning
where they witness
women with special children with special needs
people who were limping
beggers on the streets
tt made the walk v. hard to handle
cause the images refuse to go away
mings was extremly displeased with herself
when she was thinking in her head
"whoa im so much better than them"
"so much luckier"
"why did god make me luckier than some ppl"
she wanted to kick herself
for being so elitist
mings turned to singning and
poured her heart out
and sing brought mings back to reality
"in this world such things always happen"
another setback
my favourite tv show host , ms oprah winffrey (spelt correctly?)
has a twisted view on christianity
i love her shows and her personality
i belive that she is inherently not a bad egg
and i just cant do anything abt it
i want for her to experience the love
that god has showered upon me
until todae
i found out that since i have no financial means
or te power to change anything
the ans is just to pray
heyy ppl we realli need to get down to pray
and theres so many things to pray about
so many needs
so little prayers
actually i kinda dun like to pray
cause i always thing im only talking to
nothingness
however aft the whole uni saga
ive learnt to trust more
on my heavenly father
im not perfect
my ways may hurt someone
out there even if i dun
intentionally plan for it to happen
but dun dis my haeavenly father
because i havent been a good example
i wish u all the best
rainbow;
6:03 AM
